He imagined the plane wasn’t heading towards a remote location in West Virginia. In fact, he wasn’t going to Athens, West Virginia, rather the Athens he read about in history books. Stepping out of the tiny jet, he’d feel the fresh Greek sun across his face as it sprawled out across the horizon showcasing a landscape of geographical and manmade wonders. Instead, as the plane descended, he began to see the smoke trail forming from one of the plants in the distance.
I couldn’t believe it. I had waited my entire life to hear those words from a man who refused to acknowledge he did anything wrong. He would never acknowledge, much less apologize.
I share these stories with couples and suggest that we pretend we are in the towers just before they collapse. Then I ask the couple to tell the other person what they would be saying to the other person. It’s never “Well, you should have kept a cleaner house” or “I wish you hadn’t spent so much money” or “It’s your fault that the children don’t listen”. Instead, individuals cry as they state “Thanks for the good times” or “I really love you”.
Growing old is certainly a challenge and having to install stair lifts in your home may seem too much to bear. But, it is reality and you should face it. The following tips will help you find the best stair lifts. First, consider whether you need a stair lift or a wheelchair lift. Will more than one individual need to use the lift? How much can you afford to spend? Style and coloring are also important because you want a lift that matches your home. When you keep this in mind you should be able to find an appropriate stair lift without too many problems. If you want some advice then ask friends and family members what stair lifts they have used and which ones they would recommend. Having a little bit of family advice never hurt and it might make you feel better, too.
I once attended a Leadership Class for Groups; led by a Doctor who specialized in Grief Counseling, and the most interesting thing I learned was to never offer tissue to someone who is crying. Offering tissue, this gentleman explained, indicates to the person they need to stop crying. Let tears flow, and flow freely; it is part of the healing process.
We get to the viewing in the a.m. but this time I don’t go up to the Overnight Caskets and I don’t watch the slideshow. I just sit outside the room where some other people have gathered and make conversations with family and friends of my dad.
He watched the maintenance man plucking dead flowers from a brilliant euryopis at the bottom of the stairs. Above him, between buildings, hung the gigantic red-lettered “For Rent” pennant visible from the freeway. That was how he had found the place, arriving in his beat-up Escort wagon after a little over 60 hours’ nearly continuous driving across plains and mountains. The red letters appeared to him as biblical indicators of where to go in search of housing. He felt like a swooning pilgrim as he stood in the office, counting out his deposit and first month’s rent, signing documents in which he pretended to promise to stay for one year, paying rent the first of each month, by the fifth at the latest, and management pretended to promise to provide him with a clean, furnished apartment.
Funeral insurance is not really the nicest thing in the planet to think about but it does need to be carried out, especially if you have a family that relies on you to provide for all of them. Your own passing will be enough of a burden as it is. Don’t make it worse through forcing them to foot the bill for the funeral and memorial as well.